May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
