but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Terrible idea I love it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
