Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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