God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
