before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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