We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just had sex bonerless
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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