I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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