he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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