Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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