dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
