do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
