4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
