lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous