I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
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Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
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Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"