As shirtless as possible
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
