I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
