If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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