I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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