How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It all started with a game of naked twister.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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