Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
