He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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