you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
