My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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