i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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