I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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