doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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