I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
