How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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