while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
