Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
