Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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