I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Randomize
