I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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