so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
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I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
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The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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