found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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