Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
