last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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