no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
