I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
