Ambien. No doubt about it.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
