She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
