32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
