i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
