Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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