found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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