if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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