He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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