I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
