you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
