I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
