dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
