You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
