I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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