i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
