He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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