Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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